JESSICA THERRIEN

From Imagination To Publication

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Writer's Campaign Challenge #3

As part of Rachael Harrie's Platform-Building Campaign we've been given a third challenge:


Write a blog post in 300 words or less, excluding the title. The post can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should show:
  • that it’s morning, 
  • that a man or a woman (or both) is at the beach
  • that the MC (main character) is bored
  • that something stinks behind where he/she is sitting
  • that something surprising happens.
Just for fun, see if you can involve all five senses AND include these random words: "synbatec," "wastopaneer," and "tacise."   (NB. these words are completely made up and are not intended to have any meaning other than the one you give them).


SAVED
I watch Nathan’s lips move as he prattles on about the new world, but all I can see beyond the rusted bow of the ship is water, black as coal in the night.
A rush of air chills my skin, and I fake a yawn, in hopes that he’ll excuse himself. He does. Thank God.
When I stand to leave, I hear a bang and the clatter of splintering wood. The boards shake beneath my feet.
“Pirates!” someone shouts.
Another bang. This time I fall. I scream as I tumble over the edge, but nobody hears me. I hit the water with force, then nothing.

***

I wake to the taste of salty lips on mine as breath is forced into my lungs. I cough and choke up water, digging my fingers into the wet sand when I catch sight of the half-naked man above me.
“Synbatec,” he whispers.
I freeze.
“Where am I?”
Source
The rising sun has stained the sky with pink, and I see no sign of the ship. I try to take deep breaths, but the smell of festering seaweed invades my nose.
He points to the jungle behind us.
“What?” I ask.
“Wastopaneer el tacise. Tu et Synbatec.” I can see every muscle flex beneath his coconut skin as he gestures with nervous eyes.
He beckons for me to follow him. My heart skips with hesitation, but I take his hand.
We walk in silence.
Without warning, a soundless arrow pierces my chest, and I cry out as sharp pain tears through me.
He catches me before I fall. I’m as good as dead. He grips the arrow, and I expect him to pull it out. Instead, the arrow disappears. The wound disappears. The pain is gone.
I stare at him. He smiles. We run.


If you liked my story, you can give it a thumbs up here. I'm #70.


35 comments:

  1. ooh I love it!! Wonderful twist at the end!! I love how the mystery builds throughout the story! You have my vote. Great job!

    I'm entry #5

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  2. Lovely flow to this piece. Leaves me wondering if he's an angel or a figment of her imagination and maybe she's still washed up on shore daydreaming... but my imagination runs away like that ;)

    Great approach.

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  3. I'm impressed, yet again. That was exciting, unexpected, and included a hunky magic man. What more could we ask for? ;) Thumbs up given.

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  4. Beautifully written. I love the imagery and how you used the made up words. I do love mysterious gorgeous men too!

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  5. Oh, I flippin' love this one, Jessica! I would read something like this. :D

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  6. Fabulous job! I love the way you came up with to use the words. Worked great!

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  7. I LOVED this Jessica! "Coconut skin" and "festering seaweed"--fabulous descriptions :) I'm off to vote.

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  8. Great job Jessica! I just voted for yours!

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  9. Well done, Jessica! Loved so many of the strong descriptions.

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  10. What an interesting mystery man! After first I thought, no way! She just got revived and you're killing her off already? But the twist at the end was a nice resolve. Once again, great job! :)

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  11. Your story was very unexpected, good job.

    Hey I just wanted you to know that (and it may just be me) but your blog starts to stretch out when I scroll down to the bottom. The comments kind of mash together and I can't read any others. I don't know if it can be fixed or if it's just the veiw from my computer. I just wanted to let you know

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  12. "Beneath his coconut skin..." great use of words, Jessica! Bravo!!!

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  13. Great twist at the end, I wanted to read more! I'm voting for you! :D

    I'm entry #69 :)

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  14. Very exciting. Love the use of the words and the twist at the end.

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  15. That's a story I'd love to see made longer! Great job!

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  16. OH, I love magical wounds. Not to mention hunky guys and surf-soaked maidens. Great job!

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  17. “Wastopaneer el tacise. Tu et Synbatec.”

    LOVED that! What a great way, Jessica, to save thirty mins of stress trying to figure how to make those weird words join the 297 others!

    (Aloha, by the way!)

    It is so easy to see why you are about to be published... great, flowing writing, loved it!

    I did have one question... the picture... I hope it's not of you on the day after the wedding reception ;)

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  18. Lovely flow and descriptions and then mouth to mouth and supernatural healing powers from the hunky stranger.. you packed a lot into your 300 words :)

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  19. Cool! I loved the paranormal bent to this. :)

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  20. I LOVE this! Please write a book about this. I need to know what happens next!

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  21. Oh, loved this. You manage to cram so much adventure in this. Adored the use of the words, well done. Voting, following, fan :)

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  22. I love this! I definitely want to read more!
    Mine is #25.

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  23. cool story! it's an exciting & magical beginning!

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  24. This is nice. Love the way you put them words in there. Awesome writing.

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  25. This is very different. I like the added fantasy ending. Very good. Thanks for the follow, and comment on mine, Jessica!

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  26. Great piece. I wonder what happens next. I'll go vote....

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  27. Wish I knew a guy with coconut skin, they seem to be useful to have around. Good job with the challenge.

    mood
    (now following)
    Moody Writing
    @mooderino
    no. 79

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  28. I love this! And I have an unrelated question: could you tell me how to follow your blog? There isn't the bar on the top with the option and I don't know how else to do it!

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  29. Wow, excellent job, especially with the surprise at the end. Great use of those darned words, too!

    If you get a chance, pop over to mine, #118.

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  30. Great entry! I want to know more about this hunk with special powers! :)

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  31. Excellent as always! Going to miss your challenge entries, Jessica :(

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